Do You Know Yourself?

You read the heading of today's blog, didn't you? Did you answer the question asked? I know what you said. “ Obviously I know myself. Is that even a question?” No, I didn't ask you if you know the general stuff about yourself. Let me explain.

First things first. Today, I have to introduce you to two people. One of them is Raj and another is Neeta. Do you know you meet them every day? Who knows, you are them? Maybe you know this, maybe you don't. Let me give a proper sneak-peek to each of their lives in general.

Raj works in an office as an assistant manager. Not a bad job at all. He is paid well, but he has to work a lot to deserve the paycheck. Yeah, you work a lot and you get paid a lot. Fair enough. However, do you know what he likes to do? He loves painting. He craves free time, only to sit with his canvas. “Why didn't he become a painter then?” 'Someone' told him that working in a reputed company pays better.

When you have to do what you never wanted to, even though you get money for it, the outcome is never satisfactory. It happened with Raj, too. He works hard for the job that he has, but he doesn't have a peace of mind. All the time in his office cubicle, he feels as if he doesn't belong there. You just blamed the “someone” for his life problems, didn't you? We'll come back to this soon.

This much of information about Raj is enough to get to the point I want to make, but let's talk about Neeta now.

Neeta, like Raj, has a job in a company, but don't worry, she likes her job. It's her dream job and she is grateful for it. However, Neeta isn't exactly happy.

She considers her colleagues to be her friends. She helps her colleagues whenever they ask for it. She does everything as her colleagues tell her to. Her free-time passes around her colleagues, trying to help them, maybe for something related to work, maybe for some personal issue. Everyone knows that one can ask Neeta for any help and she will never refuse. And so, you will always find her working, sometimes for herself and sometimes for someone else.

No doubt, she is a nice person. However, when she asks someone for help, do you think she always gets the same support back? Of late, she realized that she is losing her peace of mind over the fact that she is over-helpful and still when she is in trouble, people do not offer help to her, even though they know her plights.

I know, by this time, you hate Neeta's colleagues. After all, when you help someone so much, you expect some basic help back, too.

Now, I gave you instances of two different people. Do you know what is the similarity between them? They do not have the right environment around them. They are not around the right things/people. And do you know who is wrong? The “someone” in case of Raj and the colleagues in case of Neeta, you say? What if I say, it's Raj and Neeta who is wrong?

You make your own decisions. You determine what you want to do, who you want to be around you, where you want to be.

Did you notice? All of these things are about you. When you do not determine all of these things, someone else will. And the result isn't going to be something that you would like.

If you live a certain way just because someone else tells you to, you aren't going to be happy with the events that would follow because of your lifestyle.

Coming back to where we started. The question was whether you know yourself or not. The answer isn't about your general details. It's about your knowledge of the kind of lifestyle you would want to have.

• Do you know where you want to be?
• Do you know what are the kinds of people you want to be around?
• Do you know what you can tolerate about people around you and what shouldn't be done with you?
• Do you know your own capabilities, merits, demerits, faults?

Many of us don't know ourselves well enough.

How many times have you felt that you are not in the right place in life? How many times have you felt that someone is neglecting your boundaries in your relationships with them? I am not talking about the temporary sparks that happen. You know the sudden “I love what I am doing now!” and the sudden “Why did I decide to do this?” statements that you make effusively every now and then, only to change your views later? I am not talking of those feelings.

Are you doing what you know you like? Are you around people who consider you important enough? That's what I am talking about.

When you feel like you are rather forcing yourself to do something, when you feel you are solving problems only for the sake of solving them, when you lack the motivation and determination to go on with something, when you aren't willing to do something because you enjoy it, but because you are being forced into it. You do it for the sake of doing it. Out of compulsion.

Stop and question yourself. Do you think you will succeed? If you think you can achieve your goal by dragging yourself to do something, continue with it. However, more often than never, lack of interest and motivation leads a person nowhere.

When you determine people you want to be around, you set boundaries. Boundaries which aren't supposed to be crossed.

• Yes, you are important but I won't support you if you are wrong.
• I understand you are a human being and thus, bound to err. I would understand when you do so, but if you knowingly create troubles for me, you and I are no more friends.
• Yes, I might cross oceans for you when I would want to help you, but that doesn't mean I am deprived of the right to refuse to help you when I feel so.

Setting boundaries don't mean you are being selfish. You love yourself, and practically, that's the first person out there that you need to love, respect and support, before anyone else.

Unless you know and value yourself well enough, no one else will. Unless you are sure of what you want, you can never achieve what you want.

Unless you set boundaries, for people, for things, your time and energy would be wasted, whatever you try doing.

Now you know why I said many of us are Raj and Neeta, while many of us know people who are like them. By now you know what my point is, and if you don't, let me summarise the entire post for you in a few sentences:

Love yourself. Value yourself. Take your decisions all by yourself, and carefully enough. Know yourself.

Keep smiling!😊

Hey everyone! I am back with another post about certain things that are important to be implemented in life and many people choose to ignore. I hope you like it. Feedbacks and suggestions are welcome. You can send me emails at saimasohail.officially@gmail.com

Author: Saima Sohail

About the author: A student, who likes to write in her free time. Expressing her views and talking about her experiences in studies, and life values, in general, are all that she does when she writes.

Note: All the pictures that have been published on this blog are copyright-free and are obtained from “unsplash.com”